I Am

I AM: at a crossroads in my life.
I WANT: a job, a life, more friends, ice cream.
I WISH: I had some willpower.
I HATE: monotony.
I MISS: home.
I FEAR: being looked over- becoming… nothing.
I HEAR: Sonichrome’s Coming Home fading into Check by Zebrahead.
I WONDER: when I’m going to feel like a real, mature adult.
I REGRET: few things, and nothing that I’ll ever admit to anyone out loud.
I AM NOT: as strong as I project- however strong that might be.
I DANCE: when I’m happy.
I SING: loudly when nobody is listening.
I CRY: when I’m alone.
I MAKE: big messes.
I WRITE: when I can overcome the fear.
I CONFUSE: affect and effect. It drives me nuts.
I NEED: a strong drink. No really, I need money.
I SHOULD: work harder for what I really want.
I START: arguments.
I FINISH: every book I start.

*Stolen from Carly, Bex, and Toni. I have no clue who had it first.


6 thoughts on “I Am

  1. Well done, Courtney. A lot less rambling than mine was.

    You listen to Zebrahead??? I love them and you’re the only other person I know that is even aware they exist!

  2. Carly- I do listen to Zebrahead. I actually met Ray (the guy whose picture you were wondering about) at a Zebrahead concert. I got shoved and if Ray hadn’t caught me, I would have hit the ground. They were really great live. Are they even together anymore? It’s been years since I heard anything.

  3. Well, check out http://www.zebrahead.com and you’ll see all their news. I haven’t had an album of theirs since Playmate of the Year. They are really great live. I saw them for the first time when they opened for my friend Jamie’s band at the Starfish Room. (You probably don’t remember that place, do you?)

  4. I always thought I was the only one near thirty who didn’t feel like an adult yet, but I’ve come to discover that almost no one my age–or even older–feels like an adult. You sound restless and unhappy in this post. I hope things get better.

  5. Carly- I’ll have to pop on over there and take a look. I don’t remember the Starfish room, I’ve only lived her two years, remember? šŸ™‚

    Bex- Wish I did. (Know the Starfish Room.) I think it’s neat that we’re quite alike. One of these days we’ll actually get around to doing the dinner and drinks thing. One day…

    Caryn- I wonder if we’ll still feel that way at 50… 60… older.. it’s an odd feeling- like you should wake up one day and realize that hey, you’re all grown-up now. I’m not really unhappy- just stale.

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