Christmas In The Ghetto

Once every year, the tacky Christmas fairy swings by our ghetto-fabulous apartment complex and vomits up some Christmas cheer in our lobby. The decorations don’t change from year to year, they just seem to… multiply. They’re hideous.

One of these decorations is a ghetto-fabulous Christmas tree. Well, someone apparently REALLY liked the tree because they packed it up and carried it home with them. Right after this tree disappeared, a sign went up in our elevator. It was a very polite, but stern sign. It said something to the affect of, “Our Christmas tree has gone missing. Could the person who removed it, please return it the lobby.” A few hours later, a second sign joined. This sign said something like, “Will the Scrooge who took the tree please return it, no questions asked, as it is for all of the Elm residents to enjoy.” The third note (all three have been left in the span on 24 hours, mind you) had me laughing my fool head off.

Guess the tacky Christmas fairy is a little ticked off.

*In case you can’t read it, the note says,

WHO
IS THE LOW LIFE
THAT STOLE OUR
COTTON PICKING
CHRISTMAS TREE???

WHOEVER YOU ARE
IF OUR CHRISTMAS TREE
DOES NOT RETURN
IN TIME FOR OUR CHRISTMAS
THEN YOU RICHLY DESERVE THE
KARMA THAT WILL
UNDOUBTEDLY BE VISITED
UPON YOU!!!

YOUR MOTHER MUST BE VERY
PROUD OF YOU!!!???

BY THE WAY, HOW DID THE LIKES OF
YOU GET PAST THE FRONT DOOR
ANYWAY???

Fuck, I can’t stop laughing.

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8 thoughts on “Christmas In The Ghetto

  1. That’s hilarious. You should send that to passiveaggressivenotes.com.

    My office building decided to put Christmas themed centerpieces on the bathroom counters this year in addition to the (dying) poinsettias and Christmas tree in the lobby. Someone stole the candle out of the centerpiece in the first floor women’s restroom.

  2. Lmaoooo, thats just hilarious!

    I cannot for the life of me think what would happen if a notice like that went up in OUR lobby, though we do have one that says “Artificial Trees Only.”

    Our lobby decorations are just as tacky and awful as every other building in our area it seems lol.

  3. Rachel- I’ve never seen that site before, I should totally submit it! That’s awesome.

    Nathan- The Christmas tree is down, but all the signs are missing now.. maybe it was resolved uh, internally? πŸ™‚

    dawnmarie- Isn’t that funny?

    Megs- I know. πŸ™‚

    Dawn- No really, ours are BAD tacky. Like… ew.

  4. Vegas- I know! The tree is still gone, but all the notes are ripped down. Maybe the note-writer had second thoughts? Or as Nathan said, maybe they took matters into their own hands. Heh.

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