Ranting From A Panicked Brain

I haven’t posted in a few days because I keep trying to think of anything to write other than, “OH MY GOD I AM HAVING A BABY AND IT IS HAPPENING SOON.”

I haven’t thought of anything yet.

OH MY GOD I AM HAVING A BABY AND IT IS HAPPENING SOON.

Phew.

Glad I got that out.

See, here’s the thing. Everybody that I talk to who has had children, has spent the last month-ish of their pregnancy just wanting the baby OUT. They are tired of being pregnant, tired of it and they want to meet their son or daughter. Me? I’m perfectly okay with staying pregnant for forever if it means never having to find out exactly where my personal pain threshold is.

My method of coping is… panic and denial. It’s working out nicely. Have I packed a hospital bag? Nope. Have I washed the first set of baby clothes? Nope. Do I even have a car seat? Yeah, uhm, no.

The knowledge that drugs will be available to me doesn’t even make me feel better. I’m terrified of the epidural. Hi, big needle. In my back. Ow. I know that I have other options (gas, etc) but I’m just not confident in their ability to STOP THE PAIN. The pain that I have no concept of because I’ve never been through this. But I know that it will hurt, and therefore, I panic.

This, my friends, is me at three weeks before my due date. Welcome to my world.

*By the way, if you want to know that I’ve gone into labor via text message, drop me a line with your phone number and I’ll include you in the list. No guarantees- these things are unpredictable. So I’ve been told.

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15 thoughts on “Ranting From A Panicked Brain

  1. Oh.my.god. I can see why you were laughing while you posted this… you’re funny.

    You’ll be fine. I don’t think I packed the bag until the morning I went into labor.

  2. You are going to do so good…don’t worry about how “other people” do it, this is your life, your baby, and as always, your way. Panicky and denialy will be just fine 🙂 Plus it makes for good blogging. I LOVE YOU!!!!

  3. Oh, yeah, it compares to nothing you’ve ever done (not that I know directly, but from the father’s perspective…) but I do know that once we got going in the situation, our nerves actually calmed and we both settled down to do what we had to do. It’s much easier once you’re in it than when you’re waiting for it.

    I’d love to have an SMS when you go into labor, even though I wouldn’t expect it and won’t be hurt if I don’t — after all, you have other things to take care of. But if you feel like it and have time, xxx-xxx-xxxx. Just send one out when you and babe are all done and ok so we don’t worry, eh?

  4. Toni – I have no idea! You’ll have to call them. But I can text you, no problem.

    Megs – But remember, the laughter was hysterical. As in crazy. Crazed. With fear.

    Cassidy – Thank you… it is so good to have you back!

    Erin – There is definitely something to be said for having the baby early… none of that last-minute panic! Thanks for thinking of me!

    Katie – Possibly, but it might be from my husband’s phone and number because my camera phone SUCKS. There will be a picture on the blog as soon as I am able to get one up, though.

    Nathan – I’m probably just sending out a mass text so it would be easy enough to add another number. No problem! I just edited your comment so your number isn’t hanging out in cyberspace. 🙂

  5. Oh, I don’t mind about the number. I have it, and my full address, published right on my webpage contact form. It’s all public anyway, so why bother hiding it? That’s my thought, at least. 🙂 I appreciate the thought, however. 🙂

  6. You will triumph like a warrior goddess; do not fear. Speaking as one who gave birth, uh, a week ago, I can say that I am confident you’ll rise to the occasion.

  7. My thoughts are with you too!

    I hope you don’t go over due. Fingers crossed. I didn’t start really freaking out about labour until they started poking me and prodding me at 4cm’s.

    You’ll do fantastic, I’m sure 🙂

  8. Caasi – I didn’t think they’d let me go overdue because of my gestational diabetes, but now because the baby is small… who knows. I hope I don’t go overdue either!

  9. Don’t panic. I used to comfort myself with repeating over and over: Women have been giving birth for thousands of years. Also…the epidural isn’t so bad. I too was scared of the needle, but really it’s no biggie. You will be fine, believe me. 🙂 And yes, I want to be on the text list!!!! Yay!!

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