Attitude

I’ve been thinking a lot about attitude lately. My own, the attitudes of those close to me… just attitude. The thing is, it’s so easy to forget just how big a role it can play in how you live your life and in what you choose to let get to you.

I have never been a road rage kind of a girl. I don’t really care if I’m not going quite the speed limit because the guy in front of me has yet to make friends with his gas pedal. Whatever, I’ll get where I’m going eventually. Some people that I know, my husband and one of his friends in particular, let every other asshole on the road ruin their day. Someone cuts them off? They fly into a rage and honk and curse and talk about it for the next five blocks. Then everybody in the car is pissy and why? What the hell is the point? That asshole didn’t learn anything from the temper tantrum. That asshole didn’t even know there WAS a temper tantrum.

I have my weak attitude moments, too, don’t get me wrong. I’m not just posting here to rag on my poor husband. No no. Me? I’m an anxious ball of nerves. I let my need for approval and my fears of the unknown consume me until I want nothing more than to curl trembling in a corner where nobody can see me. I know that this does me no good whatsoever. I know it. I know that Joe Schmoe doesn’t realize that his sneer at me has left me feeling severely inadequate and that if he did know, he probably wouldn’t care. I know that my completely stupid fears are just that- completely stupid fears. And yet, I let them beat me down until I’m cranky, irritable and on edge.

I was talking to my husband today after he had a particularly rough day and I was getting frustrated because he does what a lot of people do. When something goes wrong, you let it shake you. Then, when something else goes wrong (and normally something that would barely attract your attention on any other day), it stacks up on the other wrong. Then another thing and another thing until you’re searching for bad things just so that you can prove that the world is against you and that your day is total shit. Well, yeah. If you’re looking that hard for trouble, you’re going to find it even if you have to invent it. You ruin your own day.

I need to work on my attitude.

If I go into the delivery room thinking that this labor and birth is going to be the most frightening and the most painful thing that I’ve endured, then it’s going to be and I will have only myself to blame for it. If I go into this thinking that it might hurt and that it might suck, but the end result is going to be this amazing little child and that she is going to be worth ten times the pain of every contraction, then THAT is going to be what I get out of this and that, my friends, is what I want.

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9 thoughts on “Attitude

  1. “If I go into the delivery room thinking that this labor and birth is going to be the most frightening and the most painful thing that I’ve endured, then it’s going to be and I will have only myself to blame for it. If I go into this thinking that it might hurt and that it might suck, but the end result is going to be this amazing little child and that she is going to be worth ten times the pain of every contraction, then THAT is going to be what I get out of this and that, my friends, is what I want.”

    Couldn’t have said it better myself. I love you dearest, and you’re going to do great. I’m so, so, so, so, so excited for you.

  2. Sounds like a great attitude shift to me. It will be fabulous and your little girl will be MORE than worth it. That I’m sure of.

    P.S. Can you send me your address?

  3. Can I make a suggestion?

    Remember how I did a birth plan of sorts on my blog? It really helped me to focus on the actual experience that I wanted and to stop focusing on the what if’s. Sure I didn’t get a chance to hand a piece of paper to the doc’s, but with the in and out for a week and a bit I had plenty of chances to tell them what I wanted. In the end I didn’t get everything I wanted but shit happens. The end product is totally freaking worth it and I was so proud of myself for at making it through the labour mostly without drugs. The gas hardly counts, it’s more of a distraction then a pain killer 😛

  4. So true! You know, so many women I’ve talked to say that it hurts at the time, but afterward the memory of their pain is almost completely washed away by the euphoria and love that come with holding their newborn baby. So live for the moment when your beautiful and perfect little girl is first placed in your arms and you get to fall in love with her all over again. Think of that.

  5. You know, labour comes on weak and gets stronger over time. You get to adapt to each new stage, so it’s not like it’ll hit you hard and you can’t handle it. I even had a 2-hour labour and birth and although it was fast and hard, it wasn’t something I couldn’t handle. You’ll do great. Whatever happens may not be within your control, but you will be able to deal with whatever happens when it happens.

    Plus, look at all the people you have cheering you on and waiting to meet your little bundle!

  6. You know, I totally understand EXACTLY what you are talking about with the whole road rage thing, my SO does the exact same thing. He’ll honk at people if they don’t use their turn signals. =

    And I’m very similar with my crazy paranoia of needing to have everyones approval and overanalyzing every damn thing. And just yes, I agree with you. Why do we waste our time worrying about all these things? Ugh. This world is so crazy.

  7. Megs – Thank you. Any day now!

    Toni – I sent it to your gmail address.

    Caasi – I have a birth plan written out, but I’m not real solid on it. It’s definitely worth taking the time to go over again. And yeah, I’m not counting too much on the gas.

    Caryn – That’s all I can do now- is just think about meeting her. Otherwise I get all panicky and upset.

    Bex – That’s true- it does come in stages. I keep worrying that i’ll miss stages, but I keep being reassured that it would be impossible to miss my going into true labor. I hope that’s true!

    Erin – It’s such a waste of energy and it’s soooo hard to turn off! I’m trying to, but it’s hard!

  8. Your amazing strength and serenity and focus is going to get you through this. That you recognize the fact you can’t stress out and worry is all the power you need. You are going to do great!

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