In A Thorn Bush

Dooce made a post recently comparing her life these days to a skiing story from when she was younger where she wound up face first in a thorn bush. Her life these days? In a thorn bush. I couldn’t even begin to come up with a better way to describe my own life right now. I’m in a thorn bush.

I hate for this blog to be all doom and gloom and whine and that’s probably why I haven’t been posting much. It’s really starting to feel like every single time I can start to pick myself up, I get knocked back down before I was ever able to dust off my behind from the first tumble.

This whole grandma being sick thing has me thrown for a loop because it’s unexpected. This isn’t the same grandmother that I posted about a while back. This is my stepmother’s mother and she’s been a part of my life for a good fourteen years. One day she was fine, then three weeks later she’s in her last month (if not week) of life. I just don’t get it.

And then to travel a few hours to go see her, spend the night at my sister’s place and to wake up to find my passenger window shattered? That was so not what I needed.

I’m just tired. I’m really tired of being hit when I’m down and I’m trying really hard to stay positive, but it’s hard. Even as I write this, the day after my car was broken into, I’m nursing my daughter’s fever. Her fever of 103. Because seriously, universe, the rest of this shit wasn’t enough?

Give me a break.

I’m really really hoping for some more upbeat positive posts to come. There ARE good things going on right now, it’s just really hard to find them and remember them with everything else. I’ll work on it for you guys.

7 thoughts on “In A Thorn Bush

  1. You’re allowed to be pissed and down and feeling kicked. Times like this suck and no question about it. But don’t think we, your readers and friends, are going anywhere, because we’ve accepted the entirety of Courtney, not just her happy days or goofy days or funny days, but all of them. Being connected with you is worth much more than only knowing you in the good times. Plus, how else can we support you?

    Take care, and good luck. I hope it looks up for you very, very soon.

  2. It’s hard to find the good things when all this bad stuff is happening. But it will come, I am sure of it. Turn to your family and friends in this time of need, it is what they (we) are for! Good support is always welcomed. 🙂

  3. I am so sorry. I hate that life is like that sometimes–it’s like, you can’t just get one thing at a time, it seems to hit all at once. Hang in there, and write as many vent-y posts as you need to 🙂

  4. It’s okay, friend! You can post about the bad stuff, too. It’s all a part of life and that’s what we are here for- to listen! 🙂

    Sometimes it’s hard to imagine why so many things could be going wrong at once but I know you’ll have better days and this phase will be in the past. I think the one good thing about bad things happening is that it can help you gain perspective. Little things that go wrong after this will seem less hard, no? That which does not kill us only makes us stonger- sort of thing.

  5. I have been having some not-so-rosy times myself, but it’s not all bad – and Jody tells me to stop apologising, because I can’t possibly be happy all the time.
    Here’s hoping you get out of your thorn bush soon. Thinking of you.

  6. With all that’s going on it’s definitely expected that you would feel down. I don’t think that anyone would expect you to be cheerful under the circumstances. I do hope that things get better for you soon, though, because you’ve been through more than enough.

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