Dooce made a post recently comparing her life these days to a skiing story from when she was younger where she wound up face first in a thorn bush. Her life these days? In a thorn bush. I couldn’t even begin to come up with a better way to describe my own life right now. I’m in a thorn bush.
I hate for this blog to be all doom and gloom and whine and that’s probably why I haven’t been posting much. It’s really starting to feel like every single time I can start to pick myself up, I get knocked back down before I was ever able to dust off my behind from the first tumble.
This whole grandma being sick thing has me thrown for a loop because it’s unexpected. This isn’t the same grandmother that I posted about a while back. This is my stepmother’s mother and she’s been a part of my life for a good fourteen years. One day she was fine, then three weeks later she’s in her last month (if not week) of life. I just don’t get it.
And then to travel a few hours to go see her, spend the night at my sister’s place and to wake up to find my passenger window shattered? That was so not what I needed.
I’m just tired. I’m really tired of being hit when I’m down and I’m trying really hard to stay positive, but it’s hard. Even as I write this, the day after my car was broken into, I’m nursing my daughter’s fever. Her fever of 103. Because seriously, universe, the rest of this shit wasn’t enough?
Give me a break.
I’m really really hoping for some more upbeat positive posts to come. There ARE good things going on right now, it’s just really hard to find them and remember them with everything else. I’ll work on it for you guys.