Once More, With Feeling

Sometimes, I do things that I know that I’m going to regret before I do them and yet, I don’t seem to be able to stop myself. 

Did that recently. Still wallowing because of it. 

I have always struggled with my self-esteem. I’ve never been excessively confident and find arrogance/cockiness extremely unattractive in others (self-assurance is something completely different and is sexy). 

This divorce process has stripped me of whatever self-esteem I thought I had and I am clawing and scrabbling to try to get some of it back. Today is harder than most days and it’s my own damn fault. 

I just can’t figure out how to turn my thoughts around. 

I wish I could delete people from my brain as easy as it is to delete their phone number or their Facebook accounts. 

Ugh. And there’s my bitch and moan for the day. 


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