Shake Up

I’ve had numerous shake-ups about my health in the past. My body, for whatever reason, is like the body of an 80-year-old and even when I do well, which is not all that often if I’m totally honest, it still seems to want to fail me. 

This past weekend, I found myself awake at 2:00 AM with crippling back pain that had me arching and sobbing and driving my ass to the hospital to get help. I didn’t initially think it was yet another kidney stone because throughout the past 24-48 hours I’d been having intermittent back pain on both sides of my lower to mid back and not just one side, as is typical with a kidney stone. By the time that I checked in at emergency, though, the pain was definitely sticking to my left side and it was BAD. Bad enough that at a hospital where I usually wait 2-3 hours before even being seen, much less treated, I was on an IV drip of morphine less than 50 minutes after my arrival. 

I’ve had the morphine drip in the past and I very vividly recall what a sense of instant relief it was. Not this time. It definitely made the pain tolerable and it dulled it quite a bit, but I still felt like I’d been punched in the back by a heavyweight champion a time or twenty.  

Now today, Monday, I’m sitting here looking at my hands which are bruised to hell and back from my veins being blown out as they tried to put an IV in me. I feel exhausted. I am sore. I just had to pop some Advil because the back pain is either lingering or coming back. I have to go see a Urologist and I have to go get an ultrasound done to check if my kidneys are still swollen on Thursday. 

This recurrent kidney stone problem is just one of many that I have going on right now. My medication list keeps getting longer and I want to be shorter. SHORTER. 

I have to change. 

I have to stop saying that tomorrow I will do better because, guess what, tomorrow never freaking comes and I will run out of tomorrows if I don’t shape up. 

My daughter needs me and she needs me healthy. 

I had done really well at cutting back my soda intake to no more than one a day, but it has crept back up over the last month and it’s time to kick that habit to the curb again. I’ll go back to one can a day and be okay with that, though eventually I’d like it to be even less. 

I will drink at least 2 liters of water every day. That will be tough for me at first, but my kidneys need water. My skin needs water. 

The other big and immediate step for me will be limiting my carb intake. For someone who is diabetic, carbs are not my friend at all. They’re also why despite my having been training fairly heavily for the last 6-8 months I have not dropped any weight. The basic guideline for a diabetic is no more than 45 g of carbs in a snack and no more than 60 g in a meal. I will not go over those numbers anymore. 

I will worry about fat content and protein intake and more technicalities of my eating later, but I want to focus on those two immediate concerns; getting rid of soda and heavily reducing carbs. 

I’m scared. I need to fix this. 


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