8

Wait, What? Christmas?

What the hell happened? I feel like I just got home from my parents house and then suddenly it was Christmas. It was so bad that Derek and I found ourselves running to the drugstore at 11:00 PM on Christmas Eve to pick up a last minute gift that we’d very nearly forgotten completely.

These last few weeks have been an absolute whirlwind of activity. Add to that the fact that Ana is very nearly mobile and no longer stays exactly where I lay her down and that leaves me with very little time to post. So be it.

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At any rate, I hope that everybody had a fantastic holiday, whatever they celebrate, and that not everybody is sitting in the three feet of snow that we’re currently sitting in over here. Beautiful to look at, not so much fun to try to get around in. I would certainly imagine that the young girl who rear-ended us on Christmas Eve is wishing there wasn’t so much snow on the ground. Yes, we’re all fine. Ana included.

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So now I’m scrambling to make sure that I can wrap up my end of year stuff and get settled in and ready for 2009. We took down our Christmas tree today, yup, the day after Christmas, just so we could make room for all of our regular stuff. 2009 will be a year of purging. I simply don’t have the room for all the stuff that we own and it’s time to eliminate.

That said, it’s going to be hard to eliminate when Ana pulls in the kind of loot that she did this year at her first Hanukkah and Christmas.

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She looks awfully happy, doesn’t she? Now I’m off to find room for all of that… and yes, that was ALL for her. None of our stuff is in that pile. INSANITY.

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14

New Year, New Way Of Life

So yes, if you hadn’t gathered from the previous post, I am now an expecting mother. Wow, that’s crazy to write. I’ve known for a few weeks and the knowledge still hasn’t entirely sunk in.

Derek and I are both very very excited. I’m a little more scared than he is, but hey, he doesn’t have to figure out the most painless way of removing a small child from his body. Lucky him. My official due date is August 7th, so I think that means that we are officially on a timeline of when things need to get done around here!

I am still going to Italy, I have doctor approval, I just can’t indulge in Italian wine. A bummer, but I think baby is worth the sacrifice.

With this news, my new year resolutions have certainly changed a bit. I think that losing weight is uhm, a bit out of the question at this point. At least not until September. Quit smoking. Well, that was done the day I found out. So for 2008, I think I need some new resolutions.

-Keep the pregnancy talk to a minimum. Really, I know, it’s only that fascinating to me and other people in my boat.

-Stay healthy. This is more important than ever. I am going to be religious about watching what I’m eating and trying to ensure that I keep this baby as healthy and as happy as can be as long as its home is in me. Wow. There’s a baby in me. Holy shit. (Yes, it still catches me off-guard.)

-I resolve to have my house baby-ready by mid-July. The walls HAVE to be painted and the new floors HAVE to go in. Derek has promised to finish this while I’m in Italy, which will be wonderful if it’s done by the time I return.

-I also resolve to have the most amazing time on my vacation and to let it be all about me me me. I’m going to have a hard time with me me me for the next few years so why not give myself one more chance to really enjoy myself?

On another note, my last resolution is be a little less self-involved and to be a better friend. As of late, I’ve had so much going on that my friendships have all been a little neglected. I would really like to remedy that.

I hope everyone enjoys their new year celebrations! Happy New Year!

4

Merry Christmas!

It’s Christmas Eve according to my clock here and that means that I’m in for a full work-day (yes, I know, it rots) and then I drive down to Seattle for Christmas with my folks. Woo! I don’t get to see my parents and my sisters very often so I enjoy every opportunity that I get to spend time with them.

I hope you all have a very merry Christmas. I hope that Santa brings you your wildest desires and that eggnog flows like water (if, unlike me, you actually enjoy eggnog).

Happy holidays!

8

Christmas In The Ghetto

Once every year, the tacky Christmas fairy swings by our ghetto-fabulous apartment complex and vomits up some Christmas cheer in our lobby. The decorations don’t change from year to year, they just seem to… multiply. They’re hideous.

One of these decorations is a ghetto-fabulous Christmas tree. Well, someone apparently REALLY liked the tree because they packed it up and carried it home with them. Right after this tree disappeared, a sign went up in our elevator. It was a very polite, but stern sign. It said something to the affect of, “Our Christmas tree has gone missing. Could the person who removed it, please return it the lobby.” A few hours later, a second sign joined. This sign said something like, “Will the Scrooge who took the tree please return it, no questions asked, as it is for all of the Elm residents to enjoy.” The third note (all three have been left in the span on 24 hours, mind you) had me laughing my fool head off.

Guess the tacky Christmas fairy is a little ticked off.

*In case you can’t read it, the note says,

WHO
IS THE LOW LIFE
THAT STOLE OUR
COTTON PICKING
CHRISTMAS TREE???

WHOEVER YOU ARE
IF OUR CHRISTMAS TREE
DOES NOT RETURN
IN TIME FOR OUR CHRISTMAS
THEN YOU RICHLY DESERVE THE
KARMA THAT WILL
UNDOUBTEDLY BE VISITED
UPON YOU!!!

YOUR MOTHER MUST BE VERY
PROUD OF YOU!!!???

BY THE WAY, HOW DID THE LIKES OF
YOU GET PAST THE FRONT DOOR
ANYWAY???

Fuck, I can’t stop laughing.

4

Christmas To-Do List

Every year I swear that I am going to be ready for Christmas and I’ll be waiting impatiently for Christmas day with bells on. Well, every year I fall a little flat of that goal and this year is no different. So let’s see. What is there to do?

Finish Buying Gifts: Well, I’ve purchased one. Does that count as finished? No? I didn’t think so, either.

Send Out Christmas Cards: Half of them are written and addressed, none have been mailed. If I don’t get them out tomorrow, they probably won’t be out in time. Argh.

Put Up A Christmas Tree: Yeah, that’s just not happening this year. Entirely too much effort when I’m not even going to be home from the 24th to the 26th.

Put Out Christmas Decorations: See above.

Drink Eggnog: As appealing as the rum part of that sounds, I find eggnog disgusting. This doesn’t happen any year.

Attend Christmas Parties: Ya know, I’m just not feeling the spirit this year. My company Christmas luncheon was ghetto-fabulous, as it was last year, and we glommed onto the free food and then ducked out. Derek’s company skipped the big to-do and took us to Disneyland last month instead (and I’m so not complaining). I’m good for Christmas partying.

So. I guess I have some shopping and some mailing to do.

2

Who Needs Nuclear Missiles When You Have Sparklers?

The fourth of July has long been my favorite holiday and it stems from a tradition that I’ve maintained for ten years now. Without fail, for the fourth, we head down to Lake Goodwin to spend the holiday at the home of my friend’s father. He lives in this gorgeous house with a yard that walks right down to his own private dock and the water. It’s fabulous.

Every year our boys get together and spend entirely too much on explosives and then they proceed to sit around and plot ways to make the biggest boom and the brightest show on the lake. Their current project, one they’ve been working on for the last few years in a row, is how to make the biggest boom using boxes of sparklers and electrical tape.

This year I had four goals to accomplish. They’re all things that I’ve done in past years and I had hoped to avoid this year. Goal number one was to not sprain my ankle while walking down the long slope to the water and our bonfire. I did that one four years ago when I was focusing a little too much on not spilling my alcoholic beverage. Not the first one I’d consumed that evening. Goal two was to not burn a hole in the blanket we were sitting on with either a sparkler or a cigarette. That one happened three years ago and I’m damn lucky I didn’t set the whole blanket on fire. Goal three was not to get sunburned to hell and back. My final goal was to not have to duck and cover from runaway fireworks. That has happened just about every year. Can you guess which goal wasn’t met?

My face is red, yes, but that was due to alcohol and running up and down the yard. That goal was accomplished- no crazy sunburn this year! Not all the other goals were met, however.

We had made it through most of the evening. All of the big stuff had been lit (with a blowtorch because our boys are smart like that) and there had been no ankle sprains, no holes in blankets and I hadn’t had to duck yet. Then Derek goes to light off a bottle rocket. It didn’t sit quite right in the tube he was holding and so he tried to readjust. In the process, he almost dropped it. He shouted words not used in polite circles and we all went down on the ground. Fortunately, the wayward bottle rocket went the right direction- into the air- and it was something we were able to laugh about. It could have been quite different, though!

The quote of the evening was when we were all sitting down for dinner, BBQ of course, and Derek and Toby were discussing their sparkler masterpieces. Toby grinned and mentioned that he could likely blow up a small country with their creations. “Who needs nuclear missiles,” he said, “when you have sparklers?”

And that is my fourth.

0

Happy Valentine's Day

On this cheesy day of love and romance, I wish you images of cupids and hearts, of kisses and butterflies and brightly painted rainbows. I wish you soul-felt kisses and drawn-out gazes. I hope you enjoy the most decadent candlelit dinner with your partner of choice and that your night ends in a haze of misty romance and joy.

Just, uh, shut the door, okay?

In all seriousness, enjoy the day for what it’s worth. And everybody wish one of my best friends a happy birthday –

Happy Birthday, Brian!!!